As Ya'akov (Jacob) flees Esav (Esau) he arrives near his uncle Laban's home.  There he sees his cousin Rachel.  The Torah tells us, "And Ya'akov kissed Rachel and cried." (Genesis 29:11) Why the tears?  

To be sure, Ya’akov was lonely.  Running from Esau he was forced to leave home.  It is therefore conceivable that his tears were tears of joy that he had once again connected with family.  Sensing that he would gain comfort and solace in Rachel, he cries.  Tears of happiness stream down his face.  

Rashi, quoting the Midrash, sees it differently.  According to this reading, Ya’akov’s tears were ones of sadness for his prophetic abilities made him realize that he would not be buried with his beloved Rachel.  

Rachel was buried in Bethlehem.  According to the Midrash, she was buried there so that when the Jews would pass by after the destruction of the Temple they would pray at Rachel’s grave.  There, Rachel would intervene on behalf of her people.  It seems then that Ya’akov’s tears may be echoes of the tears to be shed by am Yisrael when they would be exiled.  Similar tears are shed today, as Jews are being denied the right to pray at Rachel’s grave.  

Another thought comes to mind. It is possible that Ya’akov’s love for Rachel was already so deep that he became anxious.  Sometimes one’s love for another is so profound that fear builds up that the love would eventually be lost.  Built into love is the reality that every love relationship must terminate, for death comes to all of us.  The greater the love, the greater the pain when it terminates.  Hence Jacob cries.  His love for Rachel is so great that he is overcome for he knows it will end and the pain was unbearable.  

Here may lie a reason why we break the glass under the chupah. We do so of course to remember the Temple destroyed.  But we also do so to remind bride and groom that nothing lasts forever.  In the end even the greatest of marriages are fragile and will end.  

Strange as it may seem, death has echoes in the wedding ceremony.  In fact, juxtaposed to the Talmudic discussion of the seven blessings recited beneath the chupah are the blessings recited at a burial (Ketubot 8a, 8b).  Additionally, following the marriage is a week of seven nights of family and communal gathering called Sheva Brakhot.  Following death is also a week of communal and family gathering called Shiva.  The relationship is not bizarre.  Both of these times are ones of reflection and transition.  They teach us that nothing continues forever.  At the moments of greatest joy and deepest sorrow we are taught the lesson that we must live every moment of our lives in love, as life is fleeting and like a dream, flies away.  

And so, this may be why Jacob cries.   He is aware of the reality that we must use our time on this earth to hold on tight and to truly treasure those whom we love.  


Shabbat Shalom,

Rabbi Avi Weiss